#137 (of 365) "Untitled 3 (Samskeyti)" Sigur Ros

12/6/2025

My favorite novel of all time is Mysterious Skin by Scott Helm. It was released in 1995 I think and I bought it, in person because Amazon didn't exist, super nervous to wander into the very limited LGBT section of the local Barnes & Noble, but I worked up the courage even as all these strangers were watching me (in my mind) admit to the world and the checkout person that I was gay. That's how closeted I was in 1995. And how difficult it was (at least for me, in central NJ) to be "out" in 1995. Which I wasn't even close to being. But I had my own apartment for the first time in my life and so for the first time in my life I could openly explore on my own movies or books with gay themes. And porn. But we won't get into that. And I think I somehow read a review of the novel, most likely in USA Today because I read that every day, and it was a rave review and the book was gay-themed, so I bought it, and I absolutely loved it. Like I said. Favorite novel of all time.

Now, anyone who knows this book and the movie starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt that was based on it a few years later, is aware that it is a very disturbing book, subject matter wise, as it's about the aftermath of two boys who got molested by their baseball coach at age 11, I think. The novel is told in both boys' POV and jumps through time, focused on that childhood age, a teenage glimpse (age 16?) and then an older teen (like 19 year old) glimpse of both boys and the effect that the horrible act performed on them had on their lives. The Gordon-Levitt character (and I haven't read this book or seen the movie in a long time so I don't remember their names) but he plays the gay character who, in his POV as a child, felt "special" to be chosen by the coach. At 16 he was turning tricks at the local gay cruising spot (this is set in fairly rural Kansas, where the author grew up). And at 19, he moved to NYC, where some pretty tragic things happen when he continuous selling his body for sex. The other boy, played by future director of The Brutalist, Brady Corbett, blocks out the memory of the rape, which happens to coincide with a UFO sighting in the area, and when he is 16, he is a shy, nerdy boy obsessed with the "fact" that he was abducted when he was 11 because he has no memory of multiple hours that night. He meets a crazy woman also obsessed with UFOs and she tries to seduce him (even though he's a teen) and that sparks some horrible memories and the same nosebleed he had on the night of his rape.

At 19, having given up on the abduction theory, he comes to realize that the little league team is important, and finds an old picture in the library of the team, and notices the Gordon-Levitt boy and knows he's the key to unlocking his memory. He goes to his house and while the other character is in NY, he meets up with Eric (whose name I do remember) and they form a friendship -- they happen to be going to the same community college -- the first real friendship the Corbett character has had. We've met Eric before and I believe (though I could be wrong) he gets POV chapters as well, and his unrequited attraction to Gordon-Levitt's more adventurous gay boy is the thing that drew me into the story, the feeling I had experienced in high school and college (and younger, most definitely), falling in "love" with boys who could not love me back (either because they were straight or equally closeted and unwilling to broach the gap--although most likely, all were straight). Long story short (too late), I really connected with Eric and when he and the Corbett character become friends (non-romantic, only one of them was gay), I loved every moment, particularly as Corbett's character was slowly discovering the horror that had happened to him.

In the movie, the Gordon-Levitt NYC scenes are incredibly difficult to watch and made the movie a real difficult rewatch, despite loving the story and the actors (Michelle Trachtenberg has a crucial part as another friend of Gordon-Levitt's) and overall, it's not a novel I have revisited much either. Probably only read 2x, given the subject matter. But it was the first novel I ever read with gay themes/characters, and it was so well-written I ended up reaching out to the author, looking for advice on how to get published myself, and we had a sporadic e-mail connection for a year or two, up until I met him in person in an incredibly nerve-racking moment when I went to an LGBT bookstore in Philly (after circling the block a couple times afraid to go in--that's how closeted I was!) where he was doing a book signing for his second novel, In Awe. I still remember waiting in a long line of gay guys who looked a lot like me (age-wise), not speaking to anyone, afraid to make eye contact (I had literally at this point, in 1997, never admitted to anyone outside my mind that I was gay), and when after the reading I got the chance to meet Scott in person and get him to sign my book, I was so nervous I spit out my email address (which was weird back then) just so he knew who I was. That was a long time ago.

Back to the movie. The final scene takes place on Christmas Eve, where a battered and bruised Gordon-Levitt has returned home to Kansas and Eric connects him with Brady Corbett, and Gordon-Levitt knows him, remembers what happened, and takes him to the home where they were molested by the coach, to give him the knowledge/closure he needs. The coach doesn't live there anymore and the new residents aren't home, so the boys break into the house and the two boys sit on the couch holding hands while this song swells in its entirety through the credits, one of the greatest uses of music in a movie of all time.

"Untitled 3 (Samskeyti)" - Sigur Ros // ( ) (2002)

Caution: Spoiler clips from the movie below. And hard to watch if you know the context. But this song is so powerful.