#60 (of 365) "The Headmaster Ritual" The Smiths

Belligerent ghouls run Manchester schools, spineless swines, cemented minds.

This was the first sentence I'd ever heard from The Smiths, on Valentine's Day 1990. I've probably told this story before, probably on this countdown, but long story short, I remember I was studying for an exam and my roommate was entertaining a girl in our room (because Valentine's Day) so I went into my suite mate's room (empty) to study there and put on one of his CDs. I knew "of" The Smiths and most likely had heard their music in the ether, but I really only knew Morrissey, because "Suedehead" had been big on "post-modern"/alternative MTV/radio stations around that time. Anyway, the CD I picked out was Meat is Murder and the first song was this song and that's the first line of the song and within minutes my favorite band of all-time emerged.

Were The Smiths the perfect soundtrack to a closeted gay teen struggling to come to terms with himself/make friends/being away from home freshman year of college? Um, yes. Did all of their music speak to him in profound ways? Of course. Was he ever beaten at an English boarding school? Well no. But this song was still brilliant, remains brilliant, despite how far from "inspiring" Morrissey has become in recent decades.

​Sir leads the troops, jealous of youth, same old suit since 1962
He does the military two-step down the nape of my neck
I want to go home, I don't want to stay
Give up education as a bad mistake
Mid-week on the playing fields, Sir thwacks you on the knees
Knees you in the groin, elbows in the face
Bruises bigger than dinner plates
I want to go home, I don't want to stay


"The Headmaster Ritual" - The Smiths // Meat is Murder (1984)