#72 (of 365) "You as You Were" Shearwater

I'm pretty sure I wrote a long blog post on my old blog Vague Space about this song and what it meant to me, at the time it came out, when I made a pretty big "mid-life" change to move from the suburbs of central Jersey to Hoboken, across the river from the biggest city in our country, and how much better things got. This song has held up even after all that time, and lands here in the top 75 songs of all time.

It's odd. I used to sort of reminisce a lot more, about college days, or other special times, about things that went well or didn't, decisions made I maybe regretted or hoped had gone better, and a song like this, the title alone, speaks to that. But now, I kind of don't have any of those regrets. What happened, happened, for better or worse, and all of it led me to Hoboken in 2013. To Mike (shortly before). To Elie (years later). To publishing two novels (working on a third!). To all of the joy--concerts, friendships, comedy shows, coffee shops, bars, breweries, sushi--so much sushi--all the things I do every day in Hudson County--I can barely remember how I felt in the before life, but now, it's all good (or better) and I don't really think about me "me as I was" anymore. Which I think is a good thing, getting out of my head. And recovering my life.

But on the slope at the edge, will you recover your life?
You can stand on the back of a shuddering beam
With a pistol, firing shots in the air!
You could run in the blood of the sun's harsh rays
You could drive the mountains down into the bay

Or go back to the east, where it's all so civilized
Where I was born to the life
But I am leaving the life, I am leaving the life
I am leaving the life, I am leaving the life
I am leaving the life, I am leaving the life
I am leaving!!!

"You As You Were" - Shearwater // Animal Joy (2012)