#94 (of 365) "Bushels" Frog Eyes

I was valedictorian of my high school class. It's not something I talk about. It's not something I'm particularly proud of, truly. Or as proud as I should have been. I was an idiot in high school. I mean I get that most high schoolers are idiots but I truly thought--or maybe just hoped--that spending hours upon hours doing homework and studying and projects and getting straight A's would add meaning or import to my life. Or more than it actually did. I get that, truly, I was blessed with intelligence and a work ethic that has allowed me a comfortable life. But I'm not "proud" of my accomplishments because of what I gave up. I didn't party in high school. I think the first "parties" I ever attended were graduation parties, which were--technically--after high school. I didn't have a ton of friends, I didn't have a ton of "fun," and it's not all because I was studying (I was also quite shy and introverted and hiding my sexuality) but I fell back on my brains as a crutch of sorts, because there was always more homework I could do on a Friday night rather than go out and have fun. And that's why I was valedictorian. 

I mean it's a cool little trivia about my life, sure. But of the things I'm proud of, it's pretty low on the list of accomplishments. What's high on the list? Publishing 2 novels. Finding my partner. Raising a (dog) daughter. Having wonderful, lasting friendships with great people. Going to Brooklyn on a Tuesday night in the snow in February for a concert at age 54. That's pretty fucking awesome to me. Was I really smart in high school? Sure. Did it matter? Not as much as you might think. 

"Bushels" - Frog Eyes // Tears of the Valedictorian (2007)