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One of the many amazements of having your first novel published is getting reviews, by strangers, who enjoy and in some cases absolutely love, your book. I do not know the exact method that went into who requested and received ARCs (advance reader copies) of I WILL BE OKAY, since my publisher handled all of that, but I do know it was a big deal when Kirkus Reviews (one of the biggest--if not the biggest--book review sites) requested an e-copy when the quarantine hit and then had one of their reviewers actually review and enjoy my novel. I'm a 40-something year old man with an engineering degree and a successful career that has afforded me many pleasures in life, but the entirety of my life--from middle school through high school through college to my post-college career, I've wanted to be a "writer," and although I did always write, constantly, so I could legitimately call myself a "writer," what I really meant deep down in my heart, was that I might become a published author. Someday. And even after getting an agent and selling this novel to a publisher, it never really occurred to me that this would result in the book being out there, in the world, for anyone and everyone to read. And it never occurred to me that they might have opinions and I might not like them (which honestly hasn't really happened...yet...) or the opposite, that they might have found some little joy from something that I wrote, literally over the entirety of the past decade, that someone I don't know or who didn't share a writing class with me, would actually give positive feedback and recommend to others that they should read it. It's been thoroughly amazing. It’s a long, winding road for Matt and Stick in Elenbark’s solid debut, a tortured, moody rumination on young queer love. Matt, a Puerto Rican, Naruto-obsessed teen with a dash of self-deprecation, struggles to overcome his uneasiness in his own skin, an inner battle amplified by his father’s machismo.  Kirkus was not alone. To date, I've received a dozen reviews on Goodreads from advanced readers, all but one in the 4 or 5 star categories, and as each one has appeared, unannounced--or in some cases announced via Tweet or Insta post that has linked to the author (me!)--I've performed the painstaking process of reading meaning into every word before getting to the ending (okay great, it's all positive!) and then forwarding it to my friends lol. My most recent review, from Charlotte of the book blog Kinzie Things is freaking incredible. She really really liked it and got so much of what I was attempting to write about, it's shocking she doesn't know me.
I mean she even liked the way the music weaves throughout, something that is common in all of my writing. When Mateo and Stick are caught up in music, or a moment of substance-inspired beauty, their thoughts are drawn out and it almost becomes a stream of consciousness. I love that music is so bound up in their emotions. I know that music was huge for me when I was a teenager. At times, I felt as though there was nothing that described how I was feeling other than the songs that I listened to. The author must love music because I could totally relate to the way Mateo and Stick got caught up in music… especially when they went to a live show! You have to be a music lover to really be able to catch the feeling of live gigs.  I'm currently in the process of writing what I hope to be my third published novel (what I hope is the 2nd has been released to my agent and is the hands of a number of editors as we speak, so fingers super duper crossed for me). But my in-progress is a rewrite of the story that originally helped me find my agent, the story of two teens in central PA who form a hardcore band. Writing that story again (re-writing is too strong a word, the rest of the story beyond that initial conceit is from scratch) and reliving the musicality of it (something that was largely missing from my 2nd novel--a horror story) has been the driving force of what is now 150 pages of a first draft. It was actually while stuck in quarantine watching a Joyce Manor concert on YouTube that I thought to revisit that story--the boys in the mosh pit on TV in that concert were the two boys in my novel!--and to transform what was a harder core musical interest (more like metal, which I am decidedly not into), getting closer to the punk/hardcore of Joyce Manor or Cloud Nothings or Japandroids or The World is a Beautiful Place-- the band at the center of "I Will Be Okay", which obviously is a type of music I still like to this day. It's all exciting to me, and that excitement has kept me writing during the quarantine, so that hopefully somehow when we come out of this I may become a three-time published author. Which would be flat-out amazing. Anyway, thanks to all reviewers who have taken the time to read my debut, even those that didn't love it as much as Charlotte above. I'll leave you with a couple other great quotes from reviewers on Goodreads, just in case you haven't pre-ordered the novel (it's only $6 on Kindle!) and thanks to all who have already bought a copy. I am not going to give this book the justice that it totally needs. This was a hit of a book that I will not soon forget. This book is all about family and moving on and it was so beautifully written. Well paced and a great story with wonderful characters.-- Crossroad Reviews
#yabooks #lgbtbooks #iwillbeokay #yalgbt
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